@Douchekevin: This hangover feels like the kids lunches are going to be a brown paper bag with a handful of change, and a note that says 'buy something'.
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@Scdavis24: Guys, if you have to point your toes to put your pants on, those aren't your pants. Give them back to your sister.
@SortaBad: [turns to guy at next urinal] "When the Little Mermaid became human how did she know how to use a toilet? BIG-TIME plot hole in my opinion"
@OBiiieeee: my last girlfriend broke up wth me after she went through my phone and i refused to tell her why i searched for goth grandpas