@electrolemon: this harriet tubman news is gonna make it super awkward every time i purchase slaves in cash
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@OuterJohn: When people do a bunny impression they go straight for the cute little front paws. Not me. I fearfully sprint into traffic.
@TuffyNyC: "Statistics show that most shark attacks happen in shallow water." Really? Maybe cus that's where the ppl are u idiots.
@topaz_kell: [talking to myself in the mirror] "You will not be awkward today." Person: "Hey" Me: "Good. How are you?"
@itsWillyFerrell: My poem: I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig. It's not a very good poem, but it's very deep.