@tumblrstorytime: this has become my life
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@Reverend_Scott: "Can I take your order?" Wait, take it where? "No, not-" I haven't even given you my order yet "I mean-" WHERE ARE YOU TAKING MY ORDER
@LurkAtHomeMom: I just don't get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?
@DanMentos: [teaching my 3yo the alphabet] "Ok what's a word that starts with Q" cucumber "That's uh… I don't… let's pick this up again tomorrow"