@Fred_Delicious: This headline is a thing of beauty
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@GreenishDuck: You know that one cow in the field that's like 200 yards away from all his cow friends just doing his own thing? That's me. I am that cow.
@Ben_Langley_: When I'm bored, I like to hold wedding ceremonies for my kitchen utensils. "I now pronounce you pan and knife."
@DannyZuker: I just watched a 15 year old girl who was busy texting walk into a light post and I am no longer an atheist.