@5hael: This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
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@realHamOnWry: If you're lost in the forest start talking about politics. Someone is sure to show up to argue with you.
@carlyken: Most guys propose with a diamond but if you're really smart give her an onion ring that way if she says no you still have a snack.
@ibid78: *angrily whispering over crib* "Sheila you know I was raised by wolves. I have to pay it forward." "But why do they need their own cribs?"