@SuperheroFeed: This is always good for a laugh.
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@noogscorner: Cop: License and registration please. Me: Give me a second, I'm drunk. Cop: Sir, have you been drinking? Me: No.
@iTomFoolery: If it was the choice between having the last pizza on earth or the last sex on earth, which toppings would you have on your pizza.
@3sunzzz: Me: Did you finish the banana bread? 16: yep Me: Great, because it was actually a healthy zucchini bread. 16: THIS HOUSE IS FULL OF LIES!
@markhoppus: Cinderella, but the Prince is searching for the maiden who matches the glass thigh gap.