@viciousbabydoll: This is an example of the shit I text my kid. I know, I know. Mom of the Year material right here.
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@hippieswordfish: lobster christian grey: 'my tastes are very.....singular' *opens closet door revealing hundreds of rubber bands*
@TheDairylandDon: Did you ever see someone yawn, and then yawn yourself? That psychological reaction is a phenomenon known as: "Katherine Heigl movies."
@hippieswordfish: HEAD OF THE NATIONAL WEATHER SEVICE: so how will we name all these hurricanes? GARY, WHOS BEEN DIVORCED 31 TIMES: i have an idea