@Cryptic1iam: This is an ugly term. This "Stalker". I prefer unpaid investigator.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: Just before a Subway employee starts making my sandwich, I'll stop them and whisper, "Like you mean it."
@VinnieLovelace: Saw a guy with a barcode tattoo on his neck. Scanned it with my RedLaser app & he couldn't believe I found him cheaper on 3 online stores
@orange_rhymer: [robbing bank] leader: go in & grab everything you can *i go in to grab loot* Me: (yanking pen chain, increasingly panicked) no no No NO NO-