@Cryptic1iam: This is an ugly term. This "Stalker". I prefer unpaid investigator.
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@SnellWarren: My mind is always on fast forward while my body's in slow motion. I'm just like that channel where the sound is out-of-sync w/ the picture.
@thestlouisan: Wife just said "burgs" instead of "burgers" and now I'm a little scared to think of what she's going to do with all the time she saved.
@AimeeHelene1: *waters flowers* *flowers die* *sprays weeds with poison* *weeds mutate, quadruple in size, grow 3 heads, and start speaking in tongues*
@davedittell: ZOMBIE MOM: Brains for dinner! TEEN ZOMBIE: Again?!? [slamming bedroom door] I wish I was alive!!