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@partyfessional: This is awesome.
@mean_crow: hey don't shoot me, i'm just the messenger! oh the letter says to shoot me? okay th-
@ClaytonSykes: If you're gonna offer free milk for coffee at a convenience store, don't get all weird when I bring in a dry bowl of cereal.
@meganamram: "I" before "e" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
@Sarcasticsapien: Congratulations, "journalists" who tell celebrity gossip for a living. I didn't know you could get a degree in teenage girl.
@darinlovesbacon: Every photo taken inside my house has at least one laundry basket in the background.