@partyfessional: This is awesome.
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@n0tblonde: If mental stability was measured by the type of tweets we laughed at, straight jackets would be the new black.
@SincerelyMen: Almost a billion dollars have been spent on campaign ads so far. It's a good thing our schools & economy are in great shape or I'd be pissed
@mortimermaiden: *breaks glass* *pulls fire alarm* [outside] Great, now that you're all here, I want to correct this impression in the office that I'm weird.
@Rollinintheseat: If we could harness the fake enthusiasm put towards wishing people a happy birthday on Facebook, we could power half the planet.