@RLRudge: This is best piece of Superman art I've seen in a long time, made by Brakken
@OhNoSheTwitnt: [taking communion at church]
I'm a recovering alcoholic do you have any actual blood?
@jake_lach: In my dog's mind he's saving the world, one tree at a time.
@jenstatsky: Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps or does it just feel like he's at work
@thesulk: Couldn't eat my soup when I watched The Matrix because there was no spoon.
@AbrasiveGhost: [Me as a Realtor]
BUYERS: this is a great house, what's the catch?
ME: Well, it is a bit.. [cant think of the word haunted] ghost encrusted