@HrBry: "This is BULLSHIT" - enthusiastic manure salesman
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@Parentpains: According to the police report, waking up in your lover's arms is only romantic when they know how you got in their house.
@elle91: Shift the power at family gatherings by telling older relatives you didn't recognize them because they've gotten so big.
@retardedwriter: Every time I think the younger generation is stupid, I remind myself that we took a long time to figure out that WWF was all fixed !!
@BlondAmbitionTO: On dates, if a man says the past tense of "see" as "I seen" instead of "I saw," I go to the bathroom and climb out the window.