@ericsshadow: This is Eric's wife. He accidentally left the house without his phone. TELL ME EVERYTHING.
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@Paxochka: I saw a zombie wearing Crocs on The Walking Dead and thought to myself "she totally deserved to die".
@zachreinert03: I forgot to wear my glasses when I drove today. I didn't even notice I wasn't wearing them until the kid on my windshield said something
@robdelaney: ME WATCHING OLYMPIC EVENT: “Holy shit that was amazing!” COMMENTATOR: “Ooh, that was not good at all. He must really be upset with himself.”