@GreenishDuck: This is just a quick reminder that we're all gonna die one day so don't get caught up in petty shit also stop stealing my tweets Greg.
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@FlyJ_: My neighbor is a real douche & always cheating on his wife, so I changed my wifi to KARL IS CHEATING ON YOU AMY for when she needs my wifi.
@Schmoodles: I copied my Match.com bio from a used car website. - White. - Good condition. - Reliable. - Cheap. - Some evidence of rear end damage.
@laurajennyjo: I'm gonna start following my cat to the litter box and sit in her lap while she takes a shit