@GreenishDuck: This is just a quick reminder that we're all gonna die one day so don't get caught up in petty shit also stop stealing my tweets Greg.
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@Dutch_50: Went to dinner with a recovering alcoholic vegan who just quit smoking. Everything entering or leaving my mouth was offensive #WorstDateEver
@timdonakowski: Butterflies have 1,200 eyes. That means they spend 7 months taking out their contacts every night.
@DiamondLou69: Saw a sign that read "Free Coupons". What I want to know is what kind of terrorist would hold coupons captive in the first place?