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@CatchThemAlI: this is me
@LLBadge: My GPS just did a shoulder shrug and said, "uhm, take a left here?" This can't be good.
@GianDoh: The opening ceremony for our ribbon repair business was pretty confusing.
@Breadery: I scream. You scream. We all scream. This fancy wine bars toilet gender signs were unclear.
@TheFearBoners: When God closes a door, He opens a window. God does not give a shit about your electric bill.
@TheToddWilliams: TRUMP: Let's get that Muslim Band going
"Band? We thought you said ban"
TRUMP: No way, that's harsh. Also, how's that Mexican mall coming?