@TribalSpaceCat: This is my favorite Twitter interaction ever.
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@bourgeoisalien: I like this time of year because I can dig graves in my front yard and people think it's just a cute Halloween display
@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: I can’t run as fast as everybody else. Me: Why not? 3-year-old: I don’t have enough feet.
@SortaBad: Idea: a neck tattoo that depicts a man having an unsuccessful job interview because of his neck tattoo