@liv_thatsme: If you can't say anything nice, do what I do: say something that seems nice but later, they're like, "hey, that wasn't nice." Buy some time.

@okimstillhungry: *1st day in hell* Devil: So you just sit in this room and people give you gifts Me: Oh nice Devil: And you have to react to each one Me: NO

@JosephScrimshaw: Actually Frankenstein was the name of the scientist. I, the person correcting you on this trivial point, am the monster.

@michael_raphone: [describing a chair] it's like a swing without all the drama

@FishySnowborder: I like my women with curves. Those skinny ones are alway mad cause they're hungry.