@gitson_shiggles: This is not my forté. It's not even my threeté if I'm being honest.
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@ag_loco: Dear men, We love you until you forget to call or show up late or breathe the wrong way - women P.s you're reading this tweet wrong
@erica_rosie: One time I smashed my face into a keyboard and accidentally wrote the fifth Twilight book.
@Jarhead44: If you ever wondered how long it takes for an over-heated microwave burrito to cool off, the answer is 37 days.