@mrmxy: This is one heck of a thing to drop on me at 3:30 AM, Google.
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: Excited for the dance? 13yo: No, because you and mom will be there. Me: But I've been workin on my twerkin! 13yo: I need new parents.
@donjuantip: i've decided to start a new healthier lifestyle. I'm adding cranberry juice to my morning Vodka.
@IamEnidColeslaw: There is a dude in a fedora sitting next to you on the bus. Is he: A. a ghost hunter B. a virgin C. a sword collector D. all of the above
@lachlan: Lincoln and Twilight opening the same weekend? Once again, Abe gets killed in a theater, and he's already fought vampires once this year.