@mrmxy: This is one heck of a thing to drop on me at 3:30 AM, Google.
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@DannyZuker: My son's soccer coach just said, "You can't spell "triumph" without 'try,'" and the look my son and I shared will bond us forever.
@matsmoustache: You walk into my bedroom... I'm laying naked with a platter of nachos on my chest. You get punched while trying to take some of my nachos.
@iwearaonesie: wife: 9 got a ninja costume. Pretend you can't see him 9 [standing in front of the fridge] *giggles* me *hits him in the face with the door*
@KyleMcDowell86: [on date] *okay don't let her know you're a T-Rex* Her: Can you pass the salt please? Me: Crap...