@LouisPeitzman: This is probably going to sound really gay, but the sunset is GORGEOUS right now and I love making out with dudes.
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@NicestHippo: WIFE: He thinks he's a news anchor DOCTOR: Is this true ME: [stacking papers & talking inaudibly as the camera zooms out]
@leechee420: Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.
@JoshDenny: Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
@SteveKoehler22: ( spelling bee ) Your word is "passive-aggressive" "Can you use it in a sentence?" Sure, kid. I'll hold up the contest just for you.