@AGreaterMonster: This is serious as a heart attack but not one of those funny heart attacks. Those make me laugh.
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@ShesARealGenius: WIFE: I wish you would drop this stupid genie act HUSBAND: honey I already told you, you're out of wishes
@: [Changes Siri to male] ME: Siri, tell me the— MALE SIRI: Listen, here’s what you need to know. ME: I… MALE SIRI: Excuse me, I’m speaking
@SergioValenCo: What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality? *gets arrested*