@rosegoldram: this is so top tier i cant
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@MrRamBillings: One time I was so high, my flatscreen fell off the wall and I thought it was just part of the movie.
@BlindChow: Karen, will you marry me? "Ugh. No. Please take me home." *20 minutes of awkward silence as hot air balloon slowly descends*
@PaperWash: Mother's Day is just an another made up holiday so the government can sell you more mothers
@DrunksWithGuns: Me: Do I get naked now or at the end? I've never done this before and I'm really nervous. Priest: For the love of god, just kiss the bride.