@lungfiber: This is the best one I've seen
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@OldUncleDaveO: If you are having anxiety over something you've said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
@MUMSIEesq: 4YO: "So Santa comes down the chimney, into our house, while we're all sleeping?" ME: "Yup." 4YO: "And we're all just okay with that?"