@KenJennings: "This is the bomb!!!" --'90s terrorist
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@iGreenMonk: Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Me: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
@SuadShamma: "The sum of the cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrot divided by the mayo. That is Cole's Law."
@Contwixt: Girl, are you a conspiracy theory? Because I want to listen to you all day long even though I find it hard to believe a word you say.