@KenJennings: "This is the bomb!!!" --'90s terrorist
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@TheRobCee: [Taylor Swift on toilet, going #2. Kanye jumps out of her shower] "Yo, Taylor- I'm really happy for you & I'm-a let you finish, but..."
@fluffysuse: My ex just asked if I want to go on holiday with him and my ex mother-in-law and now I don't need Twitter because I will never stop laughing
@AintNoFamily: I can't wait to stick my descriptive adjective all up in your noun until you verb all over my face.