@Amburglar_: This is the hardest I've laughed all morning:
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@djderk: Suicide terrorists: jokes on you! Virgins totally suck. Have fun jerking off while she cries.
@titanrn: Wife ran into my ex girlfriend today. I asked if she still looked good? Always wondered what the worst thing I could say was. That was it.
@radtoria: "Penguins mate for life. Isn't that romantic?" You open your mouth to answer but I spit my chewed up cake into it. "You're my penguin."
@TwinSurvivalist: Let's not buy them two of all the same toys we said. It'll teach them to share, we said. We are idiots.