@Amburglar_: This is the hardest I've laughed all morning:
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@FunkyFresh_79: Greatest days of my life: 3) Day I got married 2) Day my first kid was born 1) Day Facebook let you turn off notifications for their games
@Mostly_Cheese: Me: Mark from Boston, you’re on the air. Therapist: You pretend to be a radio host to avoid confrontation. M: Let’s take another call.
@mattsurely: WOMAN: Is anyone here a doctor?! MAN: I sure am! And I think I can. Save that man. Like eggs & ham. W: Shutup Seuss! I meant a real doctor.