@meladoodle: this is the police, we have u surrounded come out with your hands on ur head, then ur shoulders, okay good now knees and toes knees and toes
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@KentWGraham: When I asked for my wife’s hand in marriage, I didn’t realize how often I’d just get the finger.
@noog: Put on sunglasses. Now run past a crowd of people with your index finger on your ear screaming "SNIPER HAS BEEN SPOTTED SIR"
@Sultani_Sails: Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn't know you did that for fun.
@AnOrangeSNES: *Leans head up to wife as I'm dying* Me: My only regret is... *Coughs loudly* Me: ...not having something cooler to say as I die. *Dies*