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@aguywithnolife: this is why god doesn't talk to us anymore
@ReginaldDennys: Quickest way to get over someone? 4 wheel drive
@MarfSalvador: [Eating wings]
Pilot: This is a bad idea
@dafloydsta: [at the gym]
ME: Hey, can you spot me?
GUY: Sure, which machine?
ME: *gestures to vending machine* Right over there
@FeverFlave: *gets stuck halfway through a somersault*
This is how I live now.
@OddMarc: If you don't walk sideways chanting 'crab people' when holding tongs, we can't be friends.