@RichardWiseman: This is why you should never put a bald person on the front page of a newspaper
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@MissBamantha: A Haiku For My Salad: I do not like you You will never be grilled cheese You make my mouth sad
@shanethevein: Accidentally bring the wrong kid home on Halloween once and now I have to listen to the same stupid story EVERY year.
@Parker_Simpson: The guy who coined the phrase,"I'm not gettin any younger." The guy he said it to then coined the phrase,"No shit, Sherlock."