@BadMikeyBad: Parenting Pro Tip: If a 5 year old says he needs a potty stop, or he's going to take a dump in the minivan, he's not making idle threats
@BillMc7: *goes on Facebook AGAIN*
*reads 100,000th idiotic post*
*thinks other people are stupid*
@kelkulus: Nobody has 3 cats. You either have 1 or 2, but from there you leap directly to 17.
@DBMaxP: Why are the people with the most annoying laughs the ones that find everything hysterical?
@donjuantip: Your cell should have a 'drunk mode' like 'airplane mode' so that no text messages or tweets leave your phone but you can still call a taxi.
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