@hell_homer: This is your brain: [hippo standing in a field] This is your brain on twitter: [100s of people surround the hippo patting it rhythmically]
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@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1961. In Spain the fascist government of Generalissimo Francisco Franco declared equal rights for women and men. None.
@elle91: [At a bar] Guy: Did it hurt? Me: What? G: When you fell walking in. I saw you fall on your face. Everyone saw.
@sfreeze6: [on deathbed - calls for son] ".....if you highlight the shit out of a document, people will think you read it....."