@hell_homer: This is your brain: [hippo standing in a field] This is your brain on twitter: [100s of people surround the hippo patting it rhythmically]
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@BillPelicanBros: *job interview* Boss: Give an example of when you've done something creative Me: When I listed my 'experience' on the application form
@PJTLynch: Captain America: I got the alert, what’s the emergency? Avengers: Well, it’s snowing, so... CA [handing over shield]: Last time! Buy a sled!
@suz1973luq: Text exchange: me- we need eggs. hub- how many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.