@Death_Buddy: *SEES SPIDER DRESSED AS A CLOWN IN THE SHOWER* **LEAVES THE UNIVERSE**

@JervanF: I can't wait till I have kids so I can drive slowly past McDonalds and tell them there's food at home when they ask for some..

@NintenDom: Every Red Hot Chili Peppers song has a part where it sounds like they're trying to guess words for a crossword puzzle.

@shkeeber: There's no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.

@AKenyanDude: When Chuck Norris is pulled over, cops show him their IDs