@anhonestmess: This is yr brain. This is yr brain on drugs. *turns page* This is yr brain on the beach at Cancun! Awwww, yr brain on yr honeymoon. *turns p
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@AnitaHelmet: Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers? I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.
@PaulyPeligroso: You can't die, man! Not right now. Not on my watch! *lifts dead body and pulls watch put from under it*
@BlindVigil: *Farmer walks into job application Farmer: I barely speak English, and my village doesn't have a computer. Employer: BOOM! Tech support!