@anhonestmess: This is yr brain. This is yr brain on drugs. *turns page* This is yr brain on the beach at Cancun! Awwww, yr brain on yr honeymoon. *turns p
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *puts six steaks on the grill* Wife: Don't you think that's too much? It's just us and the kids. Me: Wait, you guys are eating, too?
@ItsAndyRyan: [Library] MAN: Do you have books on fire? LIBRARIAN: Yes, in the Chemistry section MAN: Come on boys! *Swarms of firemen enter with hoses*
@AnOrangeSNES: In space, nobody can hear you scream for ice cream. So remember, before trips to colonize the galaxy bring your Ben & Jerrys.
@YearOfRat: My vocabulary can beat your vocabulary's ass, arse, bum, buttocks, rear end, booty, backside, tush, tuckus and badonkadonk.