@weismanjake: "This isn't my first rodeo" -Guy at his second rodeo
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@bIessbaby: over 7 billion people in this world and u think I'm gonna chase someone who doesn't even want me? hahaha that's exactly what I'm gonna do
@Tmoney68: My next door neighbor is constantly blaring loud music by a certain white rapper, keeping me awake at night. He's become my Eminemesis.
@Kalarlis: 007 is fired, becomes a scientist. He opens meetings with, "The name's Bond, Hydrogen Bond." Everyone laughs. He cries in the supply closet.
@TheAlexNevil: Death: You'll see me eventually. Me: Or *will* I? D: Uh, yes, you absolutely will. I've got you scheduled. M: Or "do" you? D: Stop that.