@CYComedy: This Job Fair sucks, it doesn't even have rides.
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@jennyjaffe: "Tender and mild" is a great way to describe chicken and a TERRIBLE way to describe a holy infant.
@rockymomax: [dinner] DAD: let's roast this bird ME: (to bird) the only time you ever got laid was the day you were born DAD: haha nice
@GreenishDuck: Text your dad "egg salad sandwich" four times in one day. He'll probably think his phone is broken.
@jonnysun: EXCITED INVENTOR: this is the best thimg since sliced bread!!!!! SLICED BREAD: [anxiously smokig in the corner] i wish i was never invented