@sassygem2: This kid will have a bright future.
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@aveuaskew: *walks into interview* Thanks for coming in today. I'm Mr. Maballsonya, but please call me Phil. *walks out of interview*
@XplodingUnicorn: Nice try, coworker who offered me coffee. The last thing I want to do at work is be awake.
@Shut_up_Marissa: CW: How was your weekend? *finds nearest object* "Hello?" CW: Are you talking to a stapler? "I'm sorry, I have to take this."
@InternetHippo: It’s inspiring today to see so many voters researching and learning about an important issue they voted on yesterday