@dlicj: This kinda thing happens to me often
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@KamaroPayne: My kids are gone for the WHOLE day. nnI miss them SO much, I can barely bring myself to pop this 3rd bottle of Champagne.
@Parkerlawyer: Listening to my husband's gorilla snoring and contemplating if I could record it and sell to the FBI as an alternative to waterboarding.
@CornOnTheGoblin: Hello 911? I was doing that thing where you pretend to walk down stairs behind a couch only it worked. I have no idea where I am. Help me.
@WouldbeAllen: Midwife: It's a boy, ma'am. Mrs Dickens: Edward. Edward's a nice name, isn't it, dear? Dickens: LET'S CALL HIM OPPROBRIOUS FRILLYBOCKER