@MiahSaint: This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and number of friends.
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@LiamDrydenEtc: "Millennials are so entitled!" Aye well I don't see 20-somethings screaming for the manager because their coupon expired a month ago, Janet
@GrantTanaka: "You know the speed limit here, son?" 45 "You know how fast you were going?" 88 "So where you off to in such a hurry?" 1985
@HaleyMDriscoll: My boyfriend said we could only get one cat. So I'm only getting one cat. One pregnant cat.
@DadInUtah: Wife: We're supposed to get 8-10 inches tonight. Me: That's what she said. Wife: Can't you do any better than that? Me: That's what she said