@CheetoBandito77: This lady cashier asked me if I wanted it "double bagged"...I said "No, you're not THAT ugly..."
And that's why I'm not allowed in Target.
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@flashember: WIFE: Every time I get close, I get hurt. THERAPIST: Is this true? PORCUPINE HUSBAND: *bristles* OF COURSE IT'S TRUE I'M A BALL OF NEEDLES
@WorstLastWords: It's OK to pet him. Buffalo are gentle creatures.
@QwertyJones3: Seems to me the guy who named sneakers was up to no good.
@daemonic3: [on date] "I think we should take this a step farther" Actually, farther implies distance, while further is figurati- *date already left*
@causticbob: The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card.
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