@ReeseButCallMeV: This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
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@LeBearGirdle: Jesus: one of you will betray me tonight *checks phone* Jesus: WHO IN DAD'S NAME UNFOLLOWED ME?!" *judas slyly slips phone back in robe*
@Whymze: [pulls out acoustic guitar at a funeral] alright everyone stop being all [finger quotes] sad this next 1 is dedicated to a very sexy widow.