@TheAlexNevil: This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
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@CharmandBrains: I call bullshit on red wine reducing fat. If there was any truth to that, I'd resemble a crack addict.
@PinkCamoTO: *looks at calendar* *looks at stomach* *looks at calendar* Guess I'm telling people I'm pregnant again this summer.
@jake_lach: Lady pulled away with the gas pump still in her car and I was like OMG who's your dealer?
@KyleMcDowell86: I always keep a shotgun under my bed in case a horse sneaks in and breaks his leg