@HuffPostComedy: This lesbian couple nailed their pregnancy announcement
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@Scimommy: Overheard 10 plan her b-day party with her BFF, including renting several hotel rooms for a mega sleepover. Somebody tell her, I can't.
@envydatropic: They say all dogs eventually look like their owners........that's unfortunate for your dog
@PhilJamesson: [I kneel down, pick up some dirt and let it run through my hand] uh huh.... [I lick my finger and stick it in the air] hmm.... [I run my knuckles over some moss on a nearby tree] unless i'm mistaken, it would seem that i'm outside