@fanaticalscribe: This makes me crack up every time I see it.
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@LosLos__: HR: You said: You're "moist" welcome? Me: Autocorrect. HR: You're fine. Me: Sweet! HR: I meant: you're fired. Autocorrect.
@Jesssicle: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and I'm like "Get outta here boys! I didn't get this chubby by sharing my milkshakes!"
@blade_funner: [the invention of ping pong] "I don't want this tiny ball." "Well, neither do I." "That makes me very angry." "Me too."