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@quote_friends: this makes me so uncomfortable
@Shot_Of_Cabo: She: I think our sex would be off the charts..
Me: You have sex charts?
@unravelingfire: Me: Do you like my new negligé?
Him: Are you wearing bubble wrap?
Me: You said put something on that would keep you occupied for hours.
@1niitro: The Simpsons need to have an episode where Arsenal win the Champions League
@dumbbeezie: The best part of being a bear would be waking up from hibernation and immediately killing something
@poopiest: "haha this costume party is great"
"sir PLEASE get off the table"
"cool librarian costume"
*sprays silly string*
"hey dude nice police costu