@quote_friends: this makes me so uncomfortable
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@The_Sculptress: The only double penetrating I'll ever do is eating the double stuff Oreo I just dropped into my coffee.
@iamspacegirl: ME: It would ring, and we would... Answer it. TEENS: but, like, how did you know who it WAS? ME *staring into the distance* We never did...
@Holy_Mowgli: ROBBER: is this all the cash? CASHIER: yes but would you like to donate $1 to charity ROBBER [tears welling up inside his ski mask]: ok