@quote_friends: this makes me so uncomfortable
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@notalogin: Dog: I'm a man's best friend, he even named one of his teeth after me. Pussycat: Yeah, you're not gonna win this one.
@awkwardphilippe: If you love someone, throw your earbuds at them. There's a good chance they'll be entangled in them and won't be able to run.
@vornietom: When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me No