@Tw1tter_K1tten: This medicine says I should not operate heavy machinery, so I guess I won't be doing laundry for the next two weeks. Safety first.
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@daemonic3: Is this your resume? "Yep" It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away "Oh yes" Welcome to UPS!
@TheAuthorGuy: Much as I like Guardians of the Galaxy, in real life, I don't think it's a good idea to give a gun to a raccoon.
@fridaycandy: I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is "love" but it's actually "floor" .