@Crunk_Jews: This midlife crisis has a lot less bank heists and high speed car chases than I had imagined.
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@hasht4g: What if all countries have ninjas, and we only know about the Asian ones because they suck?
@NotARatsAss: My night was going great until a neighbor flew their drone over my property. So I grabbed my shotgun and yelled, "Pull!"
@SuperRandomish: Me: *singing "Don't stop believing"* Joe: What are you doing? Me: Practicing for Journey duty J: You mean Jury duty? M: No, it says...shit