@Crunk_Jews: This midlife crisis has a lot less bank heists and high speed car chases than I had imagined.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dafloydsta: Not to brag, but I always go to the hottest cashier at the store and she always checks me out.
@Dutch_50: I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it.
@TheCamelToe_: Have you ever noticed women say men only have one thing on their mind? Yet women constantly ask us what we're thinking.
@thepunningman: Dr: your father is real sick Woman: [sobbing] how long? [her dad wheelies past on a bmx] Dr: almost six yards that time