@Crunk_Jews: This midlife crisis has a lot less bank heists and high speed car chases than I had imagined.
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@derekblackmon: I don't mean to sound like a hypochondriac but I was diagnosed with the flu today & I feel like it's been coming on for a few years now.
@Spotzwoj: The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
@platinum2000: I make out with a squirrel at a party one time, and now everyone is scared of me? That's just ridiculous, he was dead for at least 2 hours.