@MavenofHonor: This milk is so far past its expiration date that I'm only going to have a small slice.
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@stormy_hero: [at wedding] "I now pronounce you husband and wife." Couple kisses *yelling from the back row "AWKWAAAARD"
@McCutty1: She won't admit she's obsessed with Instagram... But her kids' names are Brannan, Kelvin, and Valencia.
@notalogin: The order the Star Wars movies are being released is based on the order in which Yoda would count from one to nine.