@MavenofHonor: This milk is so far past its expiration date that I'm only going to have a small slice.
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@KatieBurnett: If they stop texting back you need to assume they've died and move on. If you see them out just smile because you ain't afraid of no ghost
@CornOnTheGoblin: [spooky noise comes from my closet] monster under my bed: you heard that too right
@AndyAsAdjective: HER: need I remind you that it’s your tur- ME: [sipping wine from a large Pyrex measuring cup] it’s my turn to do the dishes, yes