@DurtMcHurtt: This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
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@Furry_Beaver: I just saw a guy take a bite out of a kitkat without breaking it apart first. Listen sir, society has rules. Adhere to them please.
@paulhorne: I was just adoringly watching my dog sleep and he woke up and caught me and now he thinks I'm some stalker weirdo.
@LizHackett: I hate cooking, but I am excited to debut my cookbook "Toast On A Paper Towel, 365 Ways."
@Sassafrantz: [stops during sex] If you spin my fanny pack around, there's sandwiches in there. Help yourself.