@DurtMcHurtt: This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
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@One_FineMess: Just did a spot on imitation of a new born calf while trying to gracefully exit a hammock.
@HomeWithPeanut: I have a solar eclipse every two minutes inside my living room ever since my toddler learned how to open & close the blinds.
@platinum2000: You don't have to seduce me with restraining orders and joyrides on the hood of your car, you had me at. "No, I was waving at my friend."
@thatsuperdad: Stranger: Sir your fly is down... Me: Oh geez! Thanks. *Bends down and picks up fly* Me: He's had some wing issues lately