@moose_chocolate: This morning I waved to the garbage men and smiled at coworkers in the elevator and now I'm pretty sure my wife is drugging my coffee.
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@DaHess1: Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
@jeremiahtolbert: Toddler, sleepily: "A lot of people live in our house." Me: "Momma, Matty, and me. That's all." Toddler, pointing behind me: "And them too." I turn to see an empty hallway. I'm 99% certain it was an empty hallway.