@moose_chocolate: This morning I waved to the garbage men and smiled at coworkers in the elevator and now I'm pretty sure my wife is drugging my coffee.
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@moose_chocolate: *man invents wheel* "How can we possibly improve this?" *Man invents wheel of cheese* "Nailed it!"
@Home_Halfway: HER: I like talking during sex, but I can't stand it when you narrate the whole thing ME: As she complains, I begin removing my pants slowly