@Area51eh: This no more tears shampoo sucks. I've been feeding it to my friends kid and he's still crying. nnnnMust be doing something wrong.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iwearaonesie: wife *buying dinosaur balloons* clerk: Is it someone's birthday? *smiles at toddler* wife: It is clerk: How old? wife: 35
@StarksWeek: How did we go from crappy gas station coffee to "Yes I'll pay $7 for you to put that in a cup for me"?
@cuckoo_cachu: Husband has fake roaches that he sets up around the house to scare the shit out of me 24/7. I'm putting out positive pregnancy tests. HA.
@bourgeoisalien: me: i should go to sleep brain: read every political tweet that's ever been written. let the rage fuel you. sleep is for the weak