@Area51eh: This no more tears shampoo sucks. I've been feeding it to my friends kid and he's still crying. nnnnMust be doing something wrong.
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@Amburglar_: Sochi is doing that thing where they manically try to clean the house 10 minutes before company arrives. But the house is Russia.
@Puercotron: HER: Are you a dog or cat person? BRAIN:*be cool, she seems pretty great* ME: Whatever you want to eat is fine. BRAIN: *nailed it*
@Audenary: 'What other miracles can you do?' Jesus: I can varnish 'You mean vanish?' J: *running finger over a beautiful oak table* aha, not quite