@Los1001111: This oatmeal tastes like I'm gonna need a doughnut.
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@TEXASVETERAN: How do you say "I'm sorry I got you pregnant, but my plane leaves in an hour. I might visit the baby one day." in Korean?
@imchriskelly: "What charities do you donate to?" "I mostly just leave sunglasses all over the world."
@tuckerflodman: [Inspecting car] *kicks tire* "Mmhm just as I suspected, it can withstand a single kick."