@SirEviscerate: This old rich guy pointed to a jungle and said I had 20 minutes before he started hunting me. He seems pretty mad that I'm just standing here tweeting.
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@kelkulus: Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women. For example, Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them.
@mommy_cusses: She was murdered by the toddler. In the bathroom. With his hundredth question. -Parent version of Clue
@huntigula: psychic: [sees guy in crowd w/ a pony tail] Sir did u know a Chad? "yes" From karate? "YES" Chad wants u to know he's ok *guy starts crying*
@BlairLoudly: [end of interview] Any questions for me? Yes. Why didn't the glass slipper also disappear at midnight? YOU ARE SO HIRED.